Lake Chelan is giant, deep lake situated in a gorgeous valley about 4 hours from home. The water is crystal clear and our gracious host, Abe, has a family cabin there we visit whenever he'll have us. We were particularly excited to go this time since he's moved to Thailand. Our only vacation this summer (see S working non-stop and me puking non-stop) was to head over for the weekend and it was delightful as it always is. I feel a little shaken out of my first trimester by all the beautiful weather and getting away from the daily routine.
When you are pregnant and refuse coffee in the morning, everyone assumes you are the picture of virtue - not doing anything to harm your tiny baby. While I'll accept that (unfounded) sainthood, I am in fact without coffee because I can't keep it down. While I miss it like crazy, it is interesting to be freed from caffeine. No frantic first-thing-in-the-morning hunt for anything black.
We took Alicia, our awesome summertime babysitter with us and it was the best (she took most of these pictures). I really recommend as much help as you can get when sick and pregnant and on vacation. Because it makes it a little like an actual vacation. (Thank you, Alicia, we love you!)
Lake Chelan is the second deepest in the world and Spartacus says that's why it's so clear and beautiful. I say it's magic. You don't even need a rinse when you get out. It's Hawaii-level gorgeousness.
The weather had great timing and only decided to majorly storm as we were leaving. Thanks, weather gods.
And now, though you wouldn't know it by the temperature, Summer is officially over. S stayed home this morning to take Olive to her first day of big kid preschool with me (there was homework and everything!). Happy back to school to those of you who go.
More lake Chelan (which our navigation voice pronouced: "Chillin'". You're not wrong, GPS, you're not wrong.)
S and I have had some major trials since having a baby. We've been together for 10 years and never had we encountered bumps in the road as large as the ones that cropped up - for both of us - as we became parents.
I am a big advocate of therapy (for everyone) but especially couples who need some help getting unstuck while slogging through a long haul (infancy, the death of a parent, law school, etc.). Something several different professionals suggested to us but we only just came around to, and I think it's one of the most important thing we do every day to keep everyone happy, is being vocal and specific about what the other person does that we appreciate.
When Spartacus went back to work the week after Olive was born, I felt like I disappeared. I had no idea how much of my self worth I derived from working. My work made my life feel meaningful and important and it was personally fulfilling. Caring for my baby felt the same, except I received absolutely no acknowledgement for doing it and that hit me hard.
When we started talking about having another baby, the first thing on my list of things for us to tackle as a couple was how to deal with the pregnancy (rough) and postpartum (rougher). I needed to feel like somebody saw what I was doing every day and appreciated not only the job I did, but the personal sacrifice I made to do it. This baby is for our family, to be sure, but I think Spartacus wanted him/her most and he knows how rough pregnancy is for me, so he makes a point to remind me allll the time how much he appreciates me for doing it. A couple weeks ago he came all the way home to pop his head in the bedroom where I was laying down (so much laying down these days) just to say, "This is really hard. I love you. I am so thankful you are carrying our baby and I'm sorry it makes you so sick. Let me know if I can do anything to help." Just a couple seconds and some awareness and intention to communicate but the ripples last for days.
Likewise, I make a point to tell him that he's doing a good job as a dad, even though he wishes he could spend more time with Olive. I remind him that I don't take for granted the fact that I get to stay home as I deal with this sickness instead of having to go to work every day.
I really think the ticket here is to overdo it. In our experience, you can't say this stuff to each other enough (I think Spartacus would agree). It's free, it's simple, it makes all the difference.