Wednesday, October 1, 2014

it's a...

I can't lie, I had a preference. Doesn't everyone? Is it terrible to admit it? I loved the idea of sisters (maybe just because I didn't have one?). And I wasn't sure how I felt about raising a boy. You know girlhood because you were one. You have to consciously think about the opposite gender simply because it's not your own experience, am I right?

We went for our very first 20 week ultrasound ever and saw the baby. Our tech was super nice and generous and told us all good things as we went through. They aren't supposed to tell you anything - the radiologist is supposed to come after and give you the run down or even wait until your doctor can talk with you at an appointment, but she assured us at every body part how healthy and robust and normal the baby looked.

We felt so nervous about deciding to find out and went round and round so many times, so neither of us asked. It was a good 5 minutes into things before she rolled around to the baby's bottom and I recognized right away.

"That's…not a girl." She said. Baby #2 gave us a nice, wide view of his manhood.

Spartacus was adamant that he didn't care either way and only wanted a healthy baby. I thought I'd be sad not to have another girl, and I was at the thought of it in the months leading up, but then we saw our baby and he waved at us and did a backflip and pretty much right away I decided he was going to be the perfect next person to join our family.

There are NO BOY NAMES to be had so we have some work to do on that front, but I'm happy he's a he.

I'd love to hear about your feelings either way and what constellation your family landed in. I feel so perfectly American with our one boy, one girl, one dog. All we need is a fence!

Blogger Tricks

Monday, September 29, 2014

snoqualmie falls (my last hurrah)

We are sort of between Summer and Fall with many mornings covered in fog but most afternoons clearing and warming up. This (gorgeous) Summer has felt like a waste since I've spent most of it in bed and I woke up on Saturday with a little bit of energy on a total rampage. "We are going to go find some easy, close by nature and enjoy it as a family!!!" I commanded.

S grew up in Issaquah, roughly 40 minutes east of Seattle and very near Snoqualmie Falls, which makes him pretty over them (they are a huge tourist destination). But we had not camped, traveled or even spent much time in the back yard this Summer and Olive is at this great age where everything is wonderful if it's new even if it doesn't do anything - the perfect time to hike/walk/visit a waterfall.

We went for the afternoon and the weather was beautiful. As always with a 3 year old, she spent most of the time fascinated with tiny features. The whole first half of our visit was her jumping off this rock...

(rounding out everywhere…)

…and the whole second half was climbing down a tiny hill to stand by this log and then climbing back up. 

Just breathing some fresh air and being all together without any errands or work hovering was so nice. And I just felt vindicated, you know? Like, at least I took my daughter to do something this Summer. And on Sunday morning she woke up and said, "Mama, can we go do something in nature today?" I see a lot of cold, blustery beach days in our fall/future.

(And what a perfect maiden voyage for my new camera! I have a lot to learn on this thing, but already I'm so impressed with the colors/depth perception/etc. Hold me to some improvement, please!)

Sunday, September 28, 2014

39/52 (38 is on instagram)

olive: grew up over night. hair growing fast, legs growing long, attitude growing exponentially.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

19 weeks (a little late)

A little late is my mantra these days. My inertia is real and consuming. I haven't written any columns lately or responded to emails or posted here much. So, I'll be 20 weeks this weekend, but I'm just now getting to this. Oh well.

I don't yet feel much connection to this baby and that feels so different from the instant, devoted, protective instinct I had with Olive. I hope the ultrasound next week (and knowing the sex) will help but I also plan to bring baby stuff up from the basement early - start making space in the house and make myself look at it. hopefully I'll be ready by the time he or she gets here.

It's not particularly fun, but I am getting used to the symptoms that remain as some symptoms fade away. I am still throwing up but my only remaining aversions are heartburn and nausea related - tomatoes and sweets. Oh, and of course my vitamins, none of which I have taken since I got pregnant. I'm just hoping I had plenty of folic acid and omegas to offer from healthy eating and regular supplements before I conceived.

Making an early bedtime and a scheduled rest in the afternoon, for example, part of every day make me feel a little more human. The level of exhaustion is also new - pregnancies while mothering are so different than first ones!

The growing has been slow and steady rather than a runaway train and it makes the whole thing seem more normal. I think, "oh, that's why people talk about wearing something for ____ months" - I rarely wore anything for more than a month last time since I was getting so big so fast. It's nice to feel a little like me even if I don't feel all the way well. It's something.

People still tell me all the time that I don't look pregnant or that they can't tell yet. Last time at this point people were asking me if I was past-due (no joke). I used to say that no one should comment in any way on how a pregnant woman looks except to say, "you look great" because plenty of women who carry smaller have real fear and anxiety about their babies being too small, but I'll tell you, it feels GREAT to hear that I don't look scary big.

Weight gain: 16 pounds. (My last midwife appointment, weeks ago, I was up 16 but just now this is what the scale read so it's what i'm going with.) For a pound a week that would be great. Considering that most of it happened over the course of the last few weeks, and the baby still weighs practically nothing, I have no idea where I'll end up. But this feels fine for now. Again, normal.

Saturday, September 20, 2014


// and speaking of which, I picked up my fancy new pump yesterday and would just like to personally thank the president because remember when I had a baby 3.5 years ago and insurance never covered any part of a pump? yeah. 

// the secret to getting kids to eat vegetables

// no big deal, beyonce and I are pregnant together. whatever.

// though I very much dislike the word "coddling" in relation to parenting, this was interesting. ("prepare your kids for the road, not the road for your kids", etc.)

// "magical thinking"? exactly! 3 year olds - both adults and babies at once.

have a great weekend!