Olive likes to play a game I hate in which while I'm still cooking she asks how many bites she has to eat of whatever we're about to have. She wants me to keep track and argue over every bite which completely takes the joy out of eating for me. I was cooking dinner recently and she asked how many bites she would have to take and started throwing numbers out: 5? 6? 7?
"I don't know. more." I said and she kept counting.
I interrupted her impatiently to say, "1000, you have to take 1000 bites" and she wailed, "That's tooooo many, mama! I will never be able to eat 1,000!"
"Have you ever tried?" I asked.
She immediately calmed down and said, perfectly reasonably, "You're right mama, I never tried. Let's see about 1,000."
"Papa, if I went up your nose, I'd be really really sad."
"Mom, what's the number?"
"One - oh - one."
"You mean one ZERO one?"
Most hard "c" sounds are "t"s.
Carry = "tarry". Cracker = "tracker".
Anything that starts with "sp" gets switched to "ps".
Spicy = "psicy". Special = "pschecial"
"Angina" = vagina
"Ope-meal" = oatmeal
And, mine and everyone's favorite, she retains this inexplicable deep southern accent only when she says "iPad" so it comes out more like "eye-paaay-ed".
I dare you not to crack up when you hear it.